phebruary photos »

Categories: pictures

Sasha Cohen is a pervert »

If I had a rack like that I coulda won the gold, too.

Or maybe I'm the pervert. Huh.

Categories: fun

winter olympics rage: johnny weir »

i hate him.

and camille.

they make me throw up.

Categories: hate

customer service rage: dirty headed freaks »

There's this one lady here who, since we don't have daily housekeeping, brings down her sheets every day for a fresh set.

First of all, who changes their sheets every freakin day?? My (wonderfully comfortable) jersey sheets are lucky if their asses get washed every other week.

Second of all, once when I was dumping her old sheets into the bin, I caught a glimpse of her pillowcase.

Oh.

My.

Lord.

It was the fucking dirtiest pillowcase I've ever seen, and that was after one night. Hotels really need to move away from white sheets, because it's really disgusting to see the filth that lands in the dirty bin. It seriously looked like she'd rubbed mud in her hair right before she went to sleep.

I'm still queasy thinking about it.

Lessons:
1) My children will not be allowed to wear dreds.

2) Wear gloves when touching the laundry.

Categories: hate, hotel

customer service rage: people who can die »

So as you probably know I work in a hotel, front desk. IE, customer service. Which seems really weird, given that I really fucking hate people and want them all to suffer die painfully.

Anyways this guy comes in and asks about the guy with the kayaks, how many rooms he's renting. Confused, I figure I'll just say, and tell him that if it's the guy I think it is, just one.

Then he proceeds to flip out about how the guy with the kayaks is taking up 6 parking spots, and how other people can't even find one parking spot, and how if this continues he's going to pull all his men out of our hotel. This is all, in the manner of lowlifes everywhere, punctuated with obscenities and lovely language like that.

I, attempting to act professionally, just stand there and nod and smile, squeezing in the occasional "I'm sorry" between his "This is bullshit"s. Despite my cool demeanor, inside I'm thinking, fucking asshole, do you think we really need your business? We're running 95% full and have to turn down plentiful reservations because you and your redneck crew are taking up a whole bunch of rooms.

Fucking moron.

Lessons:
1) People who curse at CSRs for things that are clearly out of their control can take a red-hot poker saguro cactus up the ass.

2) Never tell the truth to customers. Rather, say that you don't know or aren't sure. IE, I should have said, "the guy with the kayak? I have no idea how many rooms they have." Play dumb. Whoever said honesty was the best policy clearly didn't work in customer service.

Categories: hate, hotel

why I love Monday night karaoke »

You get to hear tidbits like this:

I used to be a drag queen! I was a headliner! You think I'm afraid of this?

He then proceeded to get up and sing "Cabaret" by Liza Minelli.

Also, I get home and write my roommate messages like this on our whiteboard:


click to zoom (although there's not much of a point, cos you won't be able to read it either way)

Excellent. I love me.

Categories: alcohol

the NYT: a bastion of journalistic excellence »

click to zoom

Indeed. [nyt]

Categories: fun