obhession

day one

2006-05-11T00:43:00.000-04:00

and so it begins.

also i have a new phone number. get it from me.

heeh

2006-05-06T03:25:00.000-04:00

Jared: http://www.answers.com/panties&r=67
Jared: i didn't know children wear panties
Jared: interesting
balthazar: hahahahah
Jared: wait
Jared: does that mean
Jared: you only wear one panty at a time?

e l i z a: i really do feel like sushi though
balthazar: i have a nice ass
e l i z a: that was the most random shit ever
balthazar: hahahahahahaha
e l i z a: seirously, what the hell?

blugh

2006-05-05T00:59:00.000-04:00

Tonight I got in a fight with a friend and afterwards I was so mad that I whaled on my phone. Thankfully it's a little brick of a Nokia; if I had a different brand I might have tiny pieces of cell phone buried in my fist.

While the phone looks ok, I think I may have beat the reception straight out of it. I've never had a problem getting bars in my apartment; now I can barely get signal at all.

Monkeyballs.

I am scarred

2006-04-25T00:18:00.000-04:00

Tonight, my friend linked me to the profile of one of the ugliest "girls" I have ever seen on thefacebook.

Thank you, Helene. I love you too.

ADDENDUM //

In a (probably vain) attempt to prove that I am not a superficial bastard, this is an excerpt of a conversation I had with Helene (who is not the ugly girl):

balthazar: im exagging about the ugliness
balthazar: but the fact that her profile pic is what it is makes me not feel bad about it
hmeister: not really though
hmeister: exactly
balthazar: like if she were pathetic ugly id never post that
hmeister: yes, but she tHINKS she's hot
hmeister: so that's just wrong
balthazar: but shes so fakey "im going to pretend i have a french accent even though im clearly a fob and you can tell by looking at me or listening to me or even oh Lord smelling me and im so french and cosmopolitan and sophisticated that i love me and im so hot and wow boys want to touch my coochie coochie and isn't that what they call it in france" that it makes me sick

Ed. note: her profile pic is one of them glamour shots where a sheet is artfully draped over aforementioned coochie and rose petals are scattered about scandalously, and which is so heavily airbrushed that if everyone had such open access to a zit zapper of Such Obvious Talent, proActiv would go out of business.

ADDENDUM II //

I showed Allegra two pictures: an unairbrushed candid of Ugly Skank, and the glamour shot of Ms. Skank and this was her response:

legs: OH LORD
legs: hahaha
legs: you can almost make out her butt
legs: THATS SOOOOOOOOOoo scandalous
legs: who knew from [the candid] she is such a tramp
balthazar: hahahahahaha
legs: seriously i can almost make out her vagina
balthazar: HAHAHAHAHA
legs: the power of makeup?
legs: like wtf..how is that the same person

ADDENDUM III //

I am enjoying this too much.

e l i z a: you know
e l i z a: ppl are always like omg mulan dressed like a man to go to war
e l i z a: if mulan looked like this she'd have no problem
e l i z a: dude she looks like my guy cousin

sigh

2006-04-16T23:16:00.000-04:00

Many times I've tried to tell you
Many times I've cried alone
Always I'm surprised how well you
Cut my feelings to the bone
Don't wanna leave you really
I've invested too much time
To give you up that easy
To the doubts that complicate your mind

We belong to the light
We belong to the thunder
We belong to the sound of the words
We've both fallen under
Whatever we deny or embrace
For worse or for better
We belong, we belong
We belong together

Oh Pat Benatar how wise thou art.

Also I start a new job in the morning.

Finola Hughes is the hottness

2006-04-12T18:11:00.000-04:00

Despite having a name that recalls 80 year old British ladies quiveringly offering you a scone ... hot damn.

Ahh ... Aspen Extreme ... Blossom ... General Hospital ... All My Children ... you don't come across a finer résumé than that.

AND SHE'S COMING BACK TO DAYTIME TV! Just for sweeps. And not that I watch it. But hot damn.

ahh Long Island, part II

2006-04-09T12:05:00.000-04:00

Long Island + Google Maps = EVIL!!

I was looking up something in Melville and it TOTALLY called me a fag.

Grrr.

ahh Long Island

2006-04-09T10:05:00.000-04:00

A high school student is suing the College Board over the whole SAT scoring debacle.

And guess, just guess where the student is from?

Sigh. Long Island. Specifically, Dix Hills.

Oh, Long Island, why?

balthazar: when i saw where he was from i was like I KNEW IT I MOTHERFUCKING KNEW IT
Pi347: haha
Pi347: what were you like again?
balthazar: haha
balthazar: shut up

[buries head in shame]

Rosie O'Dykell

2006-04-06T16:53:00.000-04:00

Usually I don't care for the woman, but then she busts out with something like this:

I just picture this cute little Mexican woman working saying, 'Excuse me Miss Campbell can I possibly get you...' and Naomi going, 'Get away from me, bam bam bam!' To make matters worse she had that jewel-encrusted cell phone. That's got to score with the diamonds. She looks like you could snap her in two but she's a tough-ass, kick-ass woman. I would actually like to fight her. I think for all the people that she's beaten up, I think she needs a big 200 pound lesbian to kick her ass.

HOW CAN YOU NOT LOVE HER NOW!

Oh yeah ... there's still this small matter...

Categories: fun, hate, movies

curry-covered pig dung

2006-04-03T20:50:00.000-04:00

That's an apt description of the guy I just checked out of the hotel.

What kind of person thinks they can check out of a hotel at 7 pm and not pay for that night? There's a reason it says "Check-out time 11 AM" like, everywhere.

Go home, eat some curry, and learn to speak english.

Categories: hate, hotel

United 93

2006-04-03T13:39:00.000-04:00

The dew and I saw Inside Man yesterday. Denzel was awesome, Clive was hot as always, and Jodie was completely unnecessary, just like 45 minutes of the movie. It was caper movie/police drama with a little wtf is going on thrown in for good luck. Liked it; didn't love it.

But one of my favorite things about going to the movies is the trailers. I don't know why, but I just like them. One trailer shown was for United 93, the movie about the 4th hijacked flight.

It looks like it might be less of a exploitative movie and actually honor those who foiled the hijackers, but honestly? I think it's too soon. Which means that it will be exploitative (is that even a word?) and cash in, intentionally or not, on 9/11. The trailer certainly did, with several shots of the WTC at particularly juicy times.

It'll be interesting, come 28 April, to see America's reaction to this movie.

Categories: movies

confused emotions

2006-04-03T01:05:00.000-04:00

I don't know how I feel about:

the new NYT homepage.

the Simpsons Movie.

the fact that my friends watched a movie at a furniture store.

Wah.

EDIT //

I lied. I do know how I feel about the NYT redesign.

I HATE IT.

Categories: hate, movies

excellence in journalism

2006-03-23T18:45:00.000-05:00

This time around, it's the St. Pete Times that's thrilling America with its accurate and up-to-date reporting.

Yeah.

Categories: hate

"no tomatoes"

2006-03-23T16:48:00.001-05:00

You're never going to live that down, you know.

Categories: fun

Forbes still sucks

2006-03-21T17:44:00.000-05:00

Continuing their trend of hard-hitting journalism, Forbes has come out with a list of the 10 healthiest candies. Included on this list are an energy bar and a chocolate covered fig bar. Bleh.

Note to self: Never go trick-or-treating at the Forbes house.

Categories: hate

room 204 is a prick

2006-03-20T21:45:00.000-05:00

Honestly, I don't care if you or your co workers never stay at one of our hotels again. Our occupancy rates are high enough that we have to turn people away every night, and I'd rather take my chances on a walk-in than on a crock of rancid yak butter such as yourself.

Categories: hate, hotel

two of my favorite things

2006-03-18T11:26:00.000-05:00

I will never cease to be amused by the fact that girls who wear one piece bathing suits have to STRIP NEKKID in order to pee.

Categories: fun, poop

biblical discourse, AIM style

2006-03-13T19:15:00.000-05:00

dave: wanna hear something fun?
hes: sure
dave: leviticus 14 is all about penile and vaginal discharge
dave: sorry 15
hes: hahahahahahaha
hes: oo now i wish i had a bible handy
dave: haha
dave: it's true
hes: UNCLEAN! UNCLEAN!
hes: i love it
dave: haha

Categories: fun

Forbes is crap

2006-03-12T09:35:00.001-05:00

Dave (the other one) took me to this little ice cream place that he was crowing about, mostly because we were bored and his roommate told us to go.

Anyways, it was on Davis Islands, which is this bourgie little neighborhood near downtown. The business district is this cute little (aka one block long) part of town with a bunch of little businesses and outdoor cafes and the like. I'll have to go back; the ice cream was cheap and the atmosphere was very laid back and island-y.

Too bad it was named the 19th worst zip code in the country to buy a home.

Never mind the fact that Forbes is the king of misnomers. Their definition of best and worst is very, how do you say, relative. For this article, they took the top 20 metro areas and picked the neighborhood in each area with the most and least appreciation. So, Davis Islands, which was really the worst place to invest in a home in the Tampa-St. Pete area, enjoyed an average appreciation rate of 16.8%. The San Bernadino neighborhood of Mission Grove/Orangecrest was named the 20th worst zip code to buy a home, with a rate of 42.1%. Compare this to their "20th best zip code to buy a home," Detroit's Harbortown/River Place, which had an average appreciation rate of 18.3%. Funny how their "20th worst" area had an appreciation rate over twice that of their "20th best."

In Forbes' report on the best and worst selling cars by brand, the writers analyzed sales by pure number. Naturally, by using this number to see how well cars sell, instead of the industry standard of days on lot, you get a wonderfully skewed image of the auto industry. Worst selling has disappointment implicitly built in, but what they studied had nothing to do with expected vs. actual sales. This could be remedied by Forbes simply using the phrase "highest and lowest volume sellers," but that doesn't have quite the bite of "best and worse selling," does it.

Forbes = meh.

Suddenly I have a craving for a Caesar salad with mushrooms.

Categories: hate

excellence in hospitality

2006-03-06T16:59:00.000-05:00

Sometimes my job actually makes me smile.

from a guest satisfaction survey:

You MUST add Fox News channel to the lineup. I need psychiatric therapy after watching CNN for the week.

bwahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

Categories: fun, hotel

guilty pleasure

2006-03-03T21:44:00.000-05:00

I can't help it. I'm watching the premiere episode of the Real World: Key West. I blame Tivo.

> I wouldn't mind being Russian and fabulous.

> The hot tub has become such an integral part of RW that it's moved into the living room.

> I also wouldn't mind having a microwave with a flip-up cover.

> Have these people never seen lightning before??

> "Let's take a nap together on the couch." I see they're following the proud tradition of RW: Las Vegas.

> John's suspiciously high voice points to the use of steroids (and small balls).

> "She doesn't like me. She must want me." Einstein is in da HOWWWWSEEEE.

> "I feel like I caused this." Um, DUH.

Verdict: more potential than RW: Austin, but clearly the glory days of NOLA and Hawai'i are long gone.

Categories: tv

phebruary photos

2006-02-25T10:44:00.000-05:00

Categories: pictures

Sasha Cohen is a pervert

2006-02-24T11:57:00.000-05:00

If I had a rack like that I coulda won the gold, too.

Or maybe I'm the pervert. Huh.

Categories: fun

winter olympics rage: johnny weir

2006-02-15T19:34:00.000-05:00

i hate him.

and camille.

they make me throw up.

Categories: hate

customer service rage: dirty headed freaks

2006-02-15T19:33:00.000-05:00

There's this one lady here who, since we don't have daily housekeeping, brings down her sheets every day for a fresh set.

First of all, who changes their sheets every freakin day?? My (wonderfully comfortable) jersey sheets are lucky if their asses get washed every other week.

Second of all, once when I was dumping her old sheets into the bin, I caught a glimpse of her pillowcase.

Oh.

My.

Lord.

It was the fucking dirtiest pillowcase I've ever seen, and that was after one night. Hotels really need to move away from white sheets, because it's really disgusting to see the filth that lands in the dirty bin. It seriously looked like she'd rubbed mud in her hair right before she went to sleep.

I'm still queasy thinking about it.

Lessons:
1) My children will not be allowed to wear dreds.

2) Wear gloves when touching the laundry.

Categories: hate, hotel

customer service rage: people who can die

2006-02-14T21:47:00.000-05:00

So as you probably know I work in a hotel, front desk. IE, customer service. Which seems really weird, given that I ~~really~~ fucking hate people and want them all to ~~suffer~~ die painfully.

Anyways this guy comes in and asks about the guy with the kayaks, how many rooms he's renting. Confused, I figure I'll just say, and tell him that if it's the guy I think it is, just one.

Then he proceeds to flip out about how the guy with the kayaks is taking up 6 parking spots, and how other people can't even find one parking spot, and how if this continues he's going to pull all his men out of our hotel. This is all, in the manner of lowlifes everywhere, punctuated with obscenities and lovely language like that.

I, attempting to act professionally, just stand there and nod and smile, squeezing in the occasional "I'm sorry" between his "This is bullshit"s. Despite my cool demeanor, inside I'm thinking, fucking asshole, do you think we really need your business? We're running 95% full and have to turn down plentiful reservations because you and your redneck crew are taking up a whole bunch of rooms.

Fucking moron.

Lessons:
1) People who curse at CSRs for things that are clearly out of their control can take a red-hot ~~poker~~ saguro cactus up the ass.

2) Never tell the truth to customers. Rather, say that you don't know or aren't sure. IE, I should have said, "the guy with the kayak? I have no idea how many rooms they have." Play dumb. Whoever said honesty was the best policy clearly didn't work in customer service.

Categories: hate, hotel

why I love Monday night karaoke

2006-02-03T16:26:00.000-05:00

You get to hear tidbits like this:

I used to be a drag queen! I was a headliner! You think I'm afraid of this?

He then proceeded to get up and sing "Cabaret" by Liza Minelli.

Also, I get home and write my roommate messages like this on our whiteboard:

click to zoom (although there's not much of a point, cos you won't be able to read it either way)

Excellent. I love me.

Categories: alcohol

the NYT: a bastion of journalistic excellence

2006-02-03T00:28:00.001-05:00

click to zoom

Indeed. [nyt]

Categories: fun

I wish he'd get Lost

2006-01-30T16:22:00.000-05:00

i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie i hate charlie

Aren't characters generally supposed to be sympathetic? And not grubby bungholes that make me want to kill?

Categories: tv

all sorts of newness up in here

2006-01-29T12:12:00.000-05:00

I went to WDW on Thursday and Friday to preview the new ride, Expedition: Everest.

Sweeeet.

Thursday was the first day of the passholder preview (previously it'd been open for cast members and their guests), and Melissa wanted to go, so I said, why not, I have those days off, and left Tampa for a quickie WDW trip. I got there around 3, a little before Melissa & Chris got there, so I ran around and satisfied my picturelust.

Disney outdid themselves on the themeing this time around. Actually, if you think about it, this is less of a "wow they went real far on it" and more of a return to the glory days of WDImagineering. It's a great ride with excellent themeing and it was hott.

Also new: hott header up top. Sweeet. Niiice.

Categories: pictures

that makes, uh, sense

2006-01-24T21:10:00.000-05:00

While browsing Google Local for restaurants near my apartment, I came across the following listing:

So I understand that not every phone number can spell something meaningful, but um, ok. I think it's a secret shoutout.

That is all.

Categories: fun, poop

I thought this was a family newspaper! II

2006-01-24T20:54:00.000-05:00

The St Pete Times has a new motto:

We're obsessed with porn.

Seriously, WTF?

Categories: fun

I thought this was a family newspaper!

2006-01-22T12:37:00.000-05:00

The St Pete Times is kinda obsessed with this whole story about how (part of) a porn blockbuster was filmed on a boat that's a local attraction. And now they've added pictures! Excellent. It's a heckuva lot cheaper than buying the actual porn, I guess.

Categories: fun

aw poopy

2006-01-22T12:03:00.000-05:00

Andy Roddick lost.

Although this NYT article's headline makes it sound like a delightful concoction of olives and chicken beat the number 2 seed.

Hehe.

The men's side is boring now; I hope Hrbaty wins, even if only because his name is Hrbaty.

Categories: sports

is that pantone approved??

2006-01-17T20:40:00.000-05:00

[horror]

The Hotel Royal Plaza in Lake Buena Vista has recently re-opened after sustaining damage from Hurricane Charley. Among the ritzy improvements that the property made during its renovation are:

* wireless in public areas
* new carpeting & drapes
* new beds and linens
* granite countertops

And the most important:

New landscaping and repainting the exterior of the hotel from pink to warm honeysuckle also was part of the makeover.

Mmm, warm honeysuckle. Which is, you know, another way of saying pink.

Freaks. [source]

EDIT //
I found a picture of the new hotel exterior, and I must admit that it's no longer pink. Now it's orangy-pink. Duh. I should have known from the name. 'Honeysuckle.' How daft of me.

Categories: florida

newspaper confuse me :(

2006-01-15T21:27:00.000-05:00

Does anyone understand what this headline is trying to say? Anyone at all? Because it confounds me. Like, really.

I know newspapers are all about saving words, but honestly. At least try to leave the meaning intact. [spt]

Categories: fun

of theaters and boobies

2006-01-14T13:12:00.000-05:00

We went to see Brokeback Moutain on, um, Thursday. It was playing at the Tampa Theater, a gorgeous restored theater downtown. However, beautiful old playhouses do not good theaters make. Or something like that. Anyways, the dialogue was so muddied that I didn't understand over half of what they were saying.

It's definitely a tasty place though.

Last night we went to Arigato, one of them Japanese hibachi grill places. Good food, but I've never been a fan of places that seat you with strangers. At our grill were these two women, one of whom kept staring at our group. That was interesting since she was wearing this green shirt that was probably unintentionally sheer. So not only did she keep looking at us, but so did her left nipple.

Like I said, tasty.

Categories: fun, movies

haloriffic

2006-01-10T21:10:00.000-05:00

It's a travesty of nature when someone owns Halo 2 ... without owning the original Halo.

Categories: fun

there's avant-garde

2006-01-07T12:12:00.000-05:00

Then there's just fucken-dumb:

And you thought that 20 minute hidden track on your favorite band's cd was ridiculous.

Also, can anyone tell me what is WITH that pisshole (literally) that is referred to as being one of the most influential works of modern art? Although, this part cracked me up...

The suspect, a Provence resident whose identity was not released, also vandalized the work in 1993 -- urinating into the 1917 piece when it was on display in Nimes, in southern France, police said.

But ... how is that vandalizing it when that's what a urinal's for?

The art world can be so craptacularly dumb.

Categories: fun, poop

ATTN: all employees

2006-01-07T09:56:00.000-05:00

Anytime you take a dump in the employee bathroom (especially for those of us who have particularly, er, fragrant stool), please leave the fan running after you depart. The rest of us do not particularly enjoy inhaling your poop particles. I'm still blue from holding my breath while attempting to pee.

Thanks.

Categories: hotel, poop

my life got flipped turned upside down

2006-01-04T16:54:00.000-05:00

American cheese? You know, that deliciously disgusting dairy product that all American kids grow up embracing as the only important form of cheese?

We've all been disillusioned.

American cheese is not its own cheese; rather:

American cheese is simply cheddar or colby that is ground and emulsified with water, said Bonnie Chlebecek, a test kitchen manager at Land O'Lakes in Arden Hills, Minn. [nyt]

That's IT??

American cheese, the darling of the American dairy industry is actually Cheddar or Colby? What happened to American innovati... Oh, stupid question.

Americans is biters.

Categories: fun

month old photos

2006-01-03T18:01:00.000-05:00

stale but still tasty!

Categories: pictures

woah momma

2005-12-28T22:52:00.000-05:00

Thank God you're not an elephant. Right Now.

bwahahahahahaha

ew

ew

ew

[screamscape]

Categories: fun

the NYT is dirrty

2005-12-24T12:17:00.000-05:00

from the front page of the NYT online:

I didn't know that, um, activity was considered 'dining'.

dee eye double are tee why.

Categories: fun

yay for alcohol!

2005-12-20T19:59:00.000-05:00

I just helped some old lady open a bottle of wine at the hotel. Chardonnay to be exact. My alcoholic skills have proven themselves useful!

I also finally moved last night/this morning. Now I just have to unpack and get my room all arranged ... I think that wine might come in handy.

Also there's pics from this past weekend's WDW trip on my flickr.

Categories: alcohol, hotel

movin' on (right on)

2005-12-11T23:04:00.000-05:00

I signed a lease today (well, took it over from someone else ...).

I'll be in SoTampa for the next 8 months.

Categories: florida

super absorbent pants!

2005-12-07T21:25:00.000-05:00

Today I was sitting at work and I was like, wow, it really smells like cigarette smoke. I was the only one there and I kept sniffing around to see if it was coming in through the window or something like that.

When my boss got there, I was like, do you smell cigarette smoke?

He looked at me like I was crazy and was like, uhn, no.

But I KNEW I was smelling it.

Then it struck me.

My pants.

MY DAMN PANTS SMELLED LIKE CIGARETTE SMOKE.

I put it to the test; when my boss left the office, I bent down and sniffed my leg. For sure, it was all stale cigs.

WTF?

I'd gone to the bar last night, but we only stayed for a very short while. 2 drinks, to be sure (Sign #492 You Are A Lush: You measure time in drinks). Probably no more than 20 minutes, and then 10 hours later, my pants still reeked of cigs?

I TOLD you that Gap pants were amazing.

Categories: alcohol

A: Not that big

2005-12-05T12:09:00.000-05:00

Next Big Thing 5 was fun ... but not awesome.

David & I got there around 11.30, during Motion City Soundtrack's set. We tried to hunt down my co-workers who were there, but it took a little while because the place was already pretty packed. Anberlin came on while we were in the beer line (mmm, beer). I think Anberlin was pretty good; I don't remember their performance that well though. The rest of the afternoon was kind of a blur, mostly because the bands tended towards the generic and/or lame (ie, Story of the Year, Our Lady Peace, Rise Against, err .... I can't remember any others). Alkaline Trio was pretty spectacular though. I'm digging it.

30 Seconds to Mars, on the other hand, was spectacuarly crappy. My co-worker Erika had been like, mmm, Jared Leto's like the top reason I'm going to the concert. Upon seeing him, she promptly vomited on the floor. Not really, but his greasy hair and raccoon eyes really gave one pause. I mean, his eyes were like Tammy Faye Bakker + Tara Reid. Nonetheless, they knew how to work the crowd ... of 12 year old prepubescent girls. And oops, that kinda stuff stops working on people after middle school.

Trapt came on around 5 or so and they gave a decent show. I slept through the first two songs that My Chemical Romance did. Wow, I really don't like that band.

And then around 8 or so (I gave up wearing a watch a couple months ago) was the best act of the night ... STAIND!! Damn that Aaron Lewis is hot ... in a fat old man kinda way.

Unfortunately, since Staind was the last act, we missed half of the set because we decided to leave early. Getting caught in a crush of 15K Hot Topic teens is not my idea of a good time.

Ugh. Hot Topic. PUKE.

Also, Tampa Bay <> Tampa. RRRG. How annoying was it for unwashed Jared Leto to be all like, WHATS UP TAMPA. Um, honey, you're in Clearwater. Performing in a concert put on by a radio station based in St Petersburg. NEITHER OF WHICH ARE TAMPA. Neither of which are in the SAME COUNTY AS TAMPA. Guh.

Categories: hate, music

Q: How big is big?

2005-12-03T09:53:00.000-05:00

To-morrow David & I are going to the Next Big Thing 5! Yay. It's 97x's big concert of the year -- Staind, Trapt, My Chem (ew), 30 Seconds to Mars (yum), Anberlin, etc. are playing. And in preparation for the 10+ hour concert tomorrow, I'm working 13 hours today.

...

I know, I'm a freakin pushover.

Boo for me.

But YAY for Spike Jonze. How hot is that? I should do that at my store.

Categories: music

silver linings

2005-11-24T12:14:00.000-05:00

One good thing about working today is that there was no traffic on my way in to work. I think I was one of two cars on the Gandy Bridge (the southernmost of the three bridges that connect Tampa and Clearwater/St Pete) this morning.

But then again, I work so monkeyfreakin early that there's never any traffic on the Gandy Bridge for me....

D'oh.

EDIT because I can't help it //

Today's high in Palm Harbor, FL is 81º.

Today's high in Cambridge, MA is 39º.

Mmmm hmmmm.

Categories: florida, weather

be thankful

2005-11-23T17:56:00.000-05:00

for the fact that you don't have to work on Thanksgiving.

Also, for the fact that you don't have to work on Black Friday. At the MALL.

Unless you do ... in which case I'm sure you'll join me in shaking our collective fist at the service industry (or whatever piteous industry forces people to work either national holidays, or in complete chaos (ie, the mall on Black Friday)).

(But I am thankful for overtime.)

(Also I think there should be a law requiring the retail industry to pay anyone who works in a mall on the day after Thanksgiving overtime.)

EDIT on why FL > hvd //

I have an urgent, pressing question. Especially for all your hvd kids who know everything.

Is 60º sweatshirt weather?

SUCKAS!!!!!!

EDIT #2 on why FL > hvd //

Europa: where are you these days?!
Europa: somewhere in florida?
bblues: huh
bblues: yea
Europa: which city?
bblues: um
bblues: the tampa/st pete area
Europa: are there hot people?
bblues: hahaha what
Europa: cuz i swear harvard's getting uglier

Categories: florida, hate, hotel, weather

bathroom business

2005-11-15T23:10:00.000-05:00

David & I went to Borders tonight, and I had to make a piss stop, thanks to the swirl I had at Tia's (haha that sounds bad ... but it was a frozen margarita/sangria mix. very good but kinda very girly). So I'm at the urinal doing my business and I hear these sounds from the stall that I just really did not want to hear. I was kinda grossed out so I washed my hands and got the heck out of there.

There was a guy in the stall ... reading a book. In the bookstore.

EW.

He had BETTER have bought the damn thing.

Categories: poop

Balthazar has a posse

2005-11-14T22:31:00.000-05:00

and its name is Ringside

I don't remember where I learned about Ringside, but it's one hawt band. Back in May or something (April, maybe?) me & Ryan went to a club that was advertising that they were gonna be there ... and they weren't. Freakin' publicity stunts. They gave out Ringside samplers and keychains though.

Anyways, I finally got my ass around to buying the cd and let me tell you it is hott. Just like Balthazar (blues .... bahahahahahaha). I think I've written about them before but man am I loving this song:

Maybe you were right
But baby I was lonely
I don’t want to fight
I’m tired of being sorry
I’m standing in the street
Crying out for you
No one sees me
But the silver moon

Ringside // Tired of Being Sorry (aka Spanishfaster)

Categories: music

how to deal

2005-11-08T20:35:00.000-05:00

with customer service reps:

Clearly, you want to threaten us, because, you know, we're all mindless drones who exist merely to fellate your ego.

This guy at our hotel called to complain about the people next door to him; apparently they were opening doors and drawers and cabinets at 10 PM!!

How dare they open drawers, in a HOTEL of all places!!!!!!

The guy who complained has been in our hotel for several years; he has nothing better to do than sit in his room and smoke, and clearly, that makes him some sort of local hotel deity.

He wanted them out of the room by morning, or else he would move out. He actually mentioned the name of another chain nearby that he would move to, if they were still there.

Oh no! Someone might actually check out of our hotel!!!

And the other chain he mentioned is notorious among area hotels for being shittily run and full of undesirable guests.

So really, do you think I give a flying fuck if you move out?

Because, in that case, then I'd have another room to sell! God forbid, in these tough times where we're running 90% occupancy.

But unfortunately, he's still there. Threats don't work with me, bitch. Especially not empty ones, honey.

Categories: hate, hotel

who keeps track of that?

2005-11-06T21:44:00.000-05:00

I'm working the night shift at the hotel, which I haven't done for like, 2 months. Naturally, I've forgotten how to do the one most important thing about the night shift: the night audit. So I was combing the office for the sheet that leads you step by step through it, and in one of the filing cabinets, I came across a file folder labeled "SHRINKAGE LOG."

Oh dear. Dear me. My goodness.

I didn't expect any self respecting man would keep records of ... shrinkage.

*snicker*

And FTR, there are absolutely none of them little guide thingies in this office. BALLS UP, BABY!

EDIT //

(This is completely unrelated but I don't like making two posts in one day. Cos I'm a loser.)

Predictive text on cell phones is the funniest shit ever.

david: The coffee shop has great ratio furniture

david: I use bank me america

david: I think it is the most rajawing thing i have ever done

Good ratio furniture is so rajawing!

Categories: fun, hotel

Chinese people SUCK

2005-11-01T21:50:00.000-05:00

I hate Chinese people.

Let me qualify that.

I hate Chinese people who don't fucking respect other people and who fucking talk Chinese all fucking day long and who are complete and utter fucking FOBs.

Is that better?

Categories: hate

I'm too damn nice

2005-10-30T10:12:00.000-05:00

Last night we went to a bar (which shall remain nameless, but it was on Dale Mabry in SoTrampa) and I opened a tab. We decided to leave soon after, so I went to close the tab. The bartender was like, you only had that one drink right? And I stood there for a minute and was like, no, I had two.

DAMN. I coulda gotten a 2 for 1 from the hottie bartender but I had to go and tell the damn truth.

And an FYI, I don't care how many calories it saves, gin & soda is NO REPLACEMENT for a good ol' G&T. Plus G&Ts glow under blacklights, so there ya go. A G&T'll put some meat on your bones and make you look cool doing it.

legs: youre not nice
legs: youre HONEST

Yeah, I'm really not nice.

Categories: alcohol

I can't be the only one

2005-10-25T18:01:00.000-04:00

Who here, upon reading the words "Brokeback Mountain," thinks it says "Bareback Mountain." Can I?

Come on. Admit it. You're a pervert.

I just like talking about Brokeback Mountain because it's an excuse to say Gyllenhaal.

I also just realized that you can shorthand the title of the movie as .... BM.

*snicker*

GYLLENHAAAAAAAAAAAAAL!!

Now that I think about it, I'll bet you anything there's going to be a porno named Bareback Mountain (in the same vein as say, Forrest Hump). Excellent.

See, even Jake likes yelling his last name.

Categories: movies

some make lemonade

2005-10-25T17:00:00.000-04:00

Others waterski.

A vehicle pulls a water skier along a flooded street in Naples. [spt]

Categories: florida, weather

the calm after the storm

2005-10-24T21:57:00.000-04:00

the night before wilma hit south florida, everyone was all freakin out. most of the counties in central fl were under tornado watch and all that good stuff.

since wilma hit, central florida has been nothing but gorgeous. this morning when i was driving to work it was rainy, but nothing torrential or anything like that. by 8 am, the rain had stopped and by 11 am, it was sunny and breezy and cool out. when i left work it was perfect fall weather. aka 68º and sunny. mm mm good.

of course, i'm only saying that because i don't live in naples.

Categories: florida, weather

boing boing needs some geritol

2005-10-21T09:54:00.000-04:00

Cos baby, they are old news.

This post? Please. We were doing that ages ago. And by ages, I mean two years, when we linked up 3 or 4 XBoxes and played all night. Sometime in the morning, we all gathered around a warthog and blew its ass to kingdom come with grenades. It was pretty damn sweet.

And even though we got the leg on you, BB, I still love ya. <3

Categories: fun

my newest obsession

2005-10-19T21:08:00.000-04:00

Welcome to obhession, the latest, and hopefully last, in a(n embarrassingly) long line of blogs.

COAC will be no more; please update your bookmarks (if you have one) to point to http://obhession.blogspot.com.

If you use bloglines, click here.

If you use something else, do it yourself, cuz I use bloglines.

Yep.